14 May 2012

Things and people than make me irrationally angry....

BP Oil's we're cleaning up our mess commercials...
"We are paying people a percentage of what they should have made in the fishing industry and we are wiping birds off with baby wipes or some shit.
We are very sorry that we caused this catastrophe with our negligence... but look how pretty we made the grasses look again."
You want a fucking cookie or something?
Of course you're cleaning it up.
It's your mess.
People generally do not applaud the efforts of adult doing what they are supposed to be doing.
I'm sure Louisiana appreciates the efforts you are making...but probably they would have preferred to skip the mess in the first place.
I'm glad I live here and not in Louisiana, because probably I'd have had to blow up some executive's house or something.
The moronic marketing director that thought people are probably retarded enough to simply forget that BP caused the mess if they were force fed this "see how much we care" bullshit?
Should be fired.
And probably beaten by an angry mob.
And then shot.

Eli Lilly Pharmaceutical ads.
Why do you put that feel-good we are a caring company bullshit on TV?
All I can think when I see one of those ads is, if I had any money, and if I were an investor, I'd pull my money out right the fuck now.
Because it seems obvious that the company has somehow fucked up in a major way and they are attempting preemptive damage control.
Like maybe if we tell the public in general how much we care about people and something about donating money to ghetto kids or something...No one will even notice those birth defects our products are causing.

People that never get pimples.
Probably it has something to with black magic or a deal with the devil or something.

People that spout political bullshit out of their mouths and have no fucking clue what they are talking about...
Something about Obama and a controversial former pastor.
And then something about how he isn't even an American, he wasn't born in this country.
And he is obviously a Muslim... since he renounced that CHRISTIAN FUCKING PASTOR and all.
Something else about how the Iraq war is bullshit and they found no weapons of mass destruction.
I don't have a whole lot of faith in our government, but I am reasonably sure they verified our President's fucking green card status before allowing him to take office.
People are entitled to their opinions and all that.... but these people are spreading stupidity like a disease.
They should be quarantined immediately like Typhoid Mary.
And also shot.
In the toes or something.
Because we can't just go around killing stupid people for being stupid.
Even when we really, really want to.

Tall people.
Because I am short.

All of them. 
People that post inflammatory shit with stupid comments, like:
"Man Arrested for Posting Atheist Facebook Status"
Or "Woman Beaten for Protesting Goverment"
and then they post comments like,
"This could happen to you...."
No it couldn't.
You know why?
Because I live in the United States, and if you'd bothered to read the article, you'd realize they are talking about Indonesia for fuck's sake.
I think they can hang you there for farting in public or something. 
I appreciate that people are passionate about causes and shit... but if you are going to put that much energy into something?
Probably you should research it.
Just a little.

Occupy Anything protesters...
What the fuck do you even want?
You are protesting what?
The state of the global economy?
If you want to change something?
Run for office. 
Try to at least pinpoint a few fucking things that you want to change.
And then go get a fucking job and stop wasting the Ivy League education your parents paid for.
Fuck sticks.
I agree that corporations are evil, China is the devil and wealth is distributed in our country disproportionately... Because, you know, communism was a great idea in theory, but it's been proven to be a really fucking bad idea in practice.
If you really want to close the gap a little bit?
You remind me of the people that protested Pluto being demoted from a planet to a rock. 
Get a fucking hobby or something.


  1. "The rich can not have everything". Where would they put it all???????????????

  2. C. S. P. SchofieldMay 19, 2012 9:52 AM

    I am totally with you on the Radicals. I spent Bush's entire 8 year administration listening to people I had thought were adults telling me "Bush is a fascist."

    No. Bush is not a fascist. Bush does not, in any important particular, resemble a certain Austrian corporal. How do I know this? Because, YOU, my hysterical Radical friend, are not in jail or dead. Because Guantanamo features no gas chambers or cremation ovens. Because Mecca does no glow in the dark.

    You don't like Bush? Fine. You have a point. Take some deep breaths, calm down, and let's talk. But don't tell me he's a fascist.

    1. Yes. Exactly. Drives me crazy. Especially since you can't argue with these people... I just nod and smile. Something about hysteria and common sense just not mixing well...