This is not a bartending rant.
This is a what the fuck is wrong with some people rant.
A few weeks ago, a guy came into the bar with two young women. They ordered their drinks and the guy walked off to play the jukebox, after announcing that he was buying the round, but before he actually paid for it.
So, yeah, already I am annoyed.
And then he returns and says, "Hey can you turn that up a cunt hair?"
Honestly, I couldn't hear what the guy was saying.
I made the mistake of saying, "Huh?" instead of nodding and smiling like I usually do.
So he yells, "CAN. YOU. TURN. THE. JUKEBOX. UP. A. CUNT. HAIR."
What the hell is wrong with you?
I mean other than the fact your mom drank because you cried and your daddy didn't fucking hug you enough?
First of all?
It is early enough in the evening that there is still a wide range of ages sitting at the bar. Have some fucking respect for your elders, you dumb fuck.
Do you feel cool now?
I mean really, I'm sure the two girls that came in with you are thinking that you are a rebel and all kinds of an awesome 12 year-old fucking child stuck in a man's body.
Using shock value for attention is something you are supposed to grow out of before you finish puberty.
It's not the language itself that pisses me off. It's that obnoxious, "Look at me! Look at me! I'm cool because I said cunt in front of everyone!" demeanor that makes me want to throw a fucking brick through this guy's forehead.
Personally, the word cunt does not offend me. I am probably missing something vital in my brain, because it is damn near impossible to offend me.
And yet somehow?
This fucking jack off has offended me by his very existence.
I want to hit him with something.
Fortunately, I have children.
So I already know that giving this douche bag the attention he seems to be craving will only reinforce his ridiculous behavior.
So I ignored his request.
Just like I do my three year old when he throws a fit.
I did give him one of those looks.. not the one that lets him know that I am angry with him.
I give him the look that tells him that I find him to be a raging fucking moron and maybe mutter something about how stupid kills, but not enough to really help humanity any as I walk away.
When he calls me over a few moments later and asks me if I can turn the jukebox up, I do and I even smile at him.
Just like my toddler.
Or a puppy.
Because, apparently, this guy's parents forgot to teach him any sort of manners or give him any sort of idea about what is appropriate behavior in public.
I mean, that old lady? Probably someone's grandmother...think about it for a second. Would you want some jack ass yelling "cunt" out in front of your grandma?
More than being annoyed or angry with the guy, I feel some sort of weird combination of embarrassment and disgust.
I am not embarrassed by the guy, I'm embarrassed for him, because he is obviously lacking the mental and emotional capability to be embarrassed for himself.
And disgust, because, well, it's fucking disgusting to see a grown ass man act like an obnoxious middle school-er in front of the whole bar.