14 July 2012

Hey. Jack Off...Just keep your tip.

#1. Again, with the drugs... What you do is your own business. Since you appear to be missing some vital connections in your brain, I'm gonna let you in on the fact that not everyone appreciates being approached and asked if they would like to buy some prescription drugs.
Fucking really.
Why the fuck would you ask someone you don't know if they want to buy drugs?
I don't like seeing anyone go to jail... but just once? I'd like to see someone whip a badge out and simply grin. 
Plus? If you are going to sell drugs? Sell fucking drugs. Nothing says "I grew up in an upper middle class bubble" more that selling fucking loritabs for $4.00 a pop.
Grow some balls and sell heroine or something.
Jack off.

#2 If you throw up? If you fall asleep? If you can not walk, talk or even gesture?
Go. 
The.
 Fuck.
 Home.
 Why do you want to drink more? 

#3. Do not act like twelve year old children on lunch hour. 
I don't mind cleaning up when you leave, but at least pretend to be a grown up for the few hours that you are in the bar.
If you insist on throwing beer and ice and water and whatever else?
If you want to get in goddamn food fights inside the bar?
CLEAN IT THE FUCK UP.
If you insist on leaving a god awful mess when you leave every time you come in?
I am going to ask you to leave when you start your bullshit. 
Trust me, it's worth your two dollar fucking tip to not have to stay an extra hour cleaning up your mess.
Jack off.

11 comments:

  1. After reading several of your (righteous) rants about some of the low-rent denizens of the bar you work in, I now know what I can do to relieve any potential boredom once I retire (still several years away).

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    Replies
    1. Sha.. Be a bartender. Do not buy a bar. :-) No amount of money is worth that job.

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  2. Uh, wow. I agree completely. If I go to a Bar I just want to have a drink. Why people bring so much crap drama with them, I don't know. If you don't do this shit at home, why do you think you can do it here?

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  3. How about if I'm polite, quiet, well-behaved and I tip extra...

    ...but I'm not wearing any pants.

    Hmmm?

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  4. Um. What if I'm particular (not bitchy, despite my name) about how I like my martini but I tip extravagantly when it's prepared to my liking?

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    Replies
    1. lol. unless you tell me that you want something fruity.... that's perfectly acceptable.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. (ignore this one. I was going to say something about MsgtB with no pants, put it in the wrong place, and then decided against it.)

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    2. Discretion is the better part of valor.

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