16 September 2012

Keyword Analysis WTF?

The following keywords have directed new visitors to my blog...

Over thirty people have used the keywords "donkey sex" to find my blog. This is obviously due to some sort of donkey breeding program. I was unaware of the decline in the donkey population, but obviously, there is an extensive "save the donkeys" breeding program all around the world... but mostly in the UK.

"Nair on my ass" probably represents some sort of horrendous industrial accident at the Nair plant, because no one in their right mind would put that shit on their ass on purpose. If you are the praying kind, please pray for those poor poor people. They will never be the same.

Similarly, "anal mud" can only mean that someone somewhere in the US was involved in some sort of extreme fall into mud. Probably when they were naked.

"Nude sword fight" possibly has something to do with "Xanax crazy". I am not going to speculate as to the goings on, but I bet it was one hell of a weekend.

"Why do I stagger and black out when drinking" led someone in the UK to my blog... Um. Should that guy return to read this one? It's probably because you are an alcoholic. I mean maybe you were roofied, but probably you are just a drunk.

"Krissy Indiana Blog" mostly means that I am sorta famous. Almost. The money should be rolling in any time now...

"Blow in penis death" do not, under any circumstances put blow in your penis. That's my pubic service announcement for the week. 

"Monologues about cooties" Um. The fuck? Get out of your parent's basement. Or get a hobby or something.

"Vagina spandex" obviously means that a disturbing amount of people have been refused a sex change operation and they are searching for a prosthetic vagina made of spandex.

"Jack off", "wtf people" and "fuck my boss" indicates an alarming rise of passive-aggressive personalities that type into google the things they really want to say the people around them.

The fact that someone googled, "shoulder rides" indicates a rise of stupidity in the general population. Shoulder rides. Not fucking rocket science. If you need to google it, please, please do not reproduce.

"Scarf wearing pig" means that finally, people are tired of watching cat videos on youtube.

"Dependent boobs"... Um. I got nothing for that one.

"Midget anal raping" For the love of God, get some fucking counseling.

"Krissy drunk"...Again with the famous thing. 


  1. This made me go check my stats. The weirdest thing I found was something called strike-the-root. It is a news site. Who would have thought that donkey sex would bring up your site? Those UK people are strange.

    1. Right?! Crazy Europeans. :-) It was a very scientific article about donkey sex that I wrote. Sorta.

  2. LOL! This is so funny. I wonder if google has really an accurate algorithm in order to make things right, especially when it comes to keyword research. Your site seems to be far from "donkey sex" word for them to find you. Yeah, it's really weird.