"So, what's good?"
Tequila.
Tequila.
Tequila is awesome. I love it.
Most people?
Not so much.
Some people really, really hate tequila.
Not so much.
Some people really, really hate tequila.
Please figure out what the hell you like.
You're the only one that can.
"Can I have a Corona with a lime?"
Corona comes with a lime.
If you don't ask for a lime, you're going to get one anyway.
Knock it off.
"What? You need my ID? I come here all the time."
Fucking super, kid.
Now show me your ID or get the Hell out.
"Can I get a red-headed slut?"
One? Just one red-headed slut?
Actually, there is nothing wrong with ordering a red-headed slut... I just really really fucking HATE making them.
Especially one at a time.
Also, please, please stop asking me what the specials are while you are staring at the giant neon specials board behind me.
Unless you really can't read?
I want to hit you with something heavy.
And in closing, I realize I am only a bartender and therefore must be some sort of drooling fucking idiot...
But I swear to you, can handle more than one order at a time.
DO NOT order three shots, wait for me to make them and then order two more, wait for those and order a beer. I really, really want to throw things at you.
Corona comes with a lime.
If you don't ask for a lime, you're going to get one anyway.
Knock it off.
"What? You need my ID? I come here all the time."
Fucking super, kid.
Now show me your ID or get the Hell out.
"Can I get a red-headed slut?"
One? Just one red-headed slut?
Actually, there is nothing wrong with ordering a red-headed slut... I just really really fucking HATE making them.
Especially one at a time.
Also, please, please stop asking me what the specials are while you are staring at the giant neon specials board behind me.
Unless you really can't read?
I want to hit you with something heavy.
And in closing, I realize I am only a bartender and therefore must be some sort of drooling fucking idiot...
But I swear to you, can handle more than one order at a time.
DO NOT order three shots, wait for me to make them and then order two more, wait for those and order a beer. I really, really want to throw things at you.
Alcohol causes temporary dementia, which is as annoying as repeating "No, not until 6:30." for one hundred time in one hour after being asked: "Is it time for "Wheel of Fortune?" over and over and over.....
ReplyDeleteI have been in bars that wouldn't give me my lime with a corona. I suspected foul play and citrus pilfering by the staff though.
ReplyDeleteWe're not even allowed to say "Tequila" in our house.
ReplyDelete