In a recent conversation that absolutely did not involve the drinking of Three Floyds Permanent fucking Funeral hippie beer, we found ourselves discussing the upcoming winter Olympics and also the next summer Olympics.
Obviously, this is because we are grown ups and we care about shit like that... or because the whole Russia thing offers so many "What the fuck" opportunities. I had assumed that the countries that held the Olympics were chosen by the same people that get to decide whether Pluto is a planet and come up with ridiculous names for storms.
Not so, it seems. Apparently there is some sort of committee that chooses these countries out of whoever bids on them. And so, in my non-professional and grossly uninformed opinion, this illustrates several things.
1. This committee is made up people that hate gay athletes, as in Fuck it, we should send them all to Russia, they probably won't make it back.
2. This committee is also made up of people that hate Russia, as in Let's do it in Sochi so the whole world can laugh at Russia.
3. This committee also hates people that go to watch the Olympics and also the media, as evidenced in the tweets sent by journalists... My favorite one being the "dangerous face water."
4. This committee also hates poor Brazilian people, or they just enjoy watching drug cartels shoot RPGs at the police helicopters that are circling the ghettos.
5. They probably also hate Russian stray dogs. I can't image why.
And so, taking all of these observations into account, one can only assume one of two things. These people are actually, actively trying to get fired. Or, they really hate the Olympics are hoping that a series of violent deaths will eventually cause the entire Olympic thing to be canceled forever.
**Sources** T.Rohe, K.Alsman, M.Wadman and Three Floyds Brewing. And probably others that I don't entirely remember speaking to.